What has us conform and not be ourselves with in society? Acceptance? …. Fear? … Ignorance? I would venture to guess a bit of all three and a sprinkling of others is why we conform. I am a casualty of this and have been pondering how it was I came to conformity. Back when I was knee-high to a giraffe I didn’t give a rats ass as to how I looked or what people thought of me. I dyed my hair every colour of the rainbow, wore clothes that seemed cool to me and were different, pierced parts of my body that I though were fun and cool, and listened to music that made me happy. This hasn’t been the case now for 13 years or so. Now this is not to say I’m not happy with the way I look now. I like the cloths I wear, but I think the root of the issue I’m trying to get to here is the fear. The fear to wear or look the way you want to and not be judged or ridiculed for being different.
A good example of this is when I was younger I would spike my hair (what ever colour it was that week) and put 2 little pink barrettes in my hair. What was I doing you ask, well I’m not sure, but I was being myself and at the time I thought it looked cool. I would never do that now and that has mostly to do with what society would say about it. Even my mother feared for me and told me that she thought someone was going to beat me up for wearing pink barrettes. She was probably right to some degree as I’m sure if I passed by the wrong person they may have jumped me for being weird. I have a few gay friends that would know exactly what I’m talking about when I talk about fear of being yourself. Gay rights are still a huge topic in society and Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender people are still fighting for their right to be themselves.
I am aware of my fear and have been slowly doing something about it. When I have noticed I like the look of something, but don’t buy it because of fear of judgement I buy it any ways. I’ll wear it at home until I fear confident in it. I may never be outrages as my youth and I think that has to do more with my age than a fear. Our society has some very negative aspects to it that breeds, Anorexia and Bulimia, Homophobia and Racism, Bullying and intolerance, but not all hope is lost. Like myself some parts of society are fighting for acceptance, to end intolerance, and are just being themselves. It will not end over night and it will take more for use to help it. I read a great quote while writing this post “Be yourself, everyone else is taken”. That quote spoke to me and I hope it speaks to you as well.
